I didn’t realize till it was done and over with who I’d been through my recent experience with a car problem. This wasn’t just any ole car problem; it was a BIG, hopefully once in a lifetime or never in a lifetime, car problem.
This is the story about how my lime green convertible Volkswagen Beetle went from sporting descriptions like “Fun, Dependable, Joy” to being described as that “blankety blank car” and back to “Fun, joy and light hearted” again.
When I look back over the past few weeks and the experience with my car I realize who was present throughout the whole ordeal;
This is the story about how my lime green convertible Volkswagen Beetle went from sporting descriptions like “Fun, Dependable, Joy” to being described as that “blankety blank car” and back to “Fun, joy and light hearted” again.
When I look back over the past few weeks and the experience with my car I realize who was present throughout the whole ordeal;
- my saboteur; the one who tries to keep me from stretching and getting outside my box,
- my future self who opposes my saboteur and encourages me to grow, learn and stretch with every experience,
- my internal coach who knows all about my saboteur and future self and keeps me aware of how to move forward in choice and not stuck in victim mode
- and finally my compassionate communication self who I’m learning to be through the Non Violent Communication/Compassionate Communication training I’ve been immersed in for several months
SUNDAY
It was a beautiful morning. We drove to meet with some friends for a spiritual circle. The lime green BUG ran smoothly along the tree lined roads and through the sunshine leading to and from our destination. It was a short but joyful ride.
It was a few hours later when my son said, “Hey mom, can I borrow your car. My friends and I want to go rock climbing.” His car’s a two seater. The lime green Beetle is sort of a four seater (it has 2 large, comfy front seats and 2 small, squeeze yourself into them, back seats). “Sure, you can borrow the car. Drive safe. Have fun”.
Now, I should explain, my son is an experienced driver. He’s been driving 6+ years. He also knows something about cars. When an early driver and still in high school, his curiosity led him to tear apart his car to learn all about how it runs. He put it all back together, minus a screw or two, and drove it here and there for another couple years before selling it so he could buy my 2 seater Z3 sports car.
He and his friends left the house with Rock climbing gear in tow ready to enjoy the afternoon. Not but 20 minutes later the phone rings. It’s my son. He says, “mom, something’s really wrong with the car. It overheated and was losing power as I found a spot to pull over” (he’d been in the left lane of a major freeway when the problem began.) Thankfully he and his friends were okay but we needed to get them off that freeway. We called AAA and had the cartowed to the closest Volkswagen dealer site and got them home safe. MONDAY
The Sad, forlorn (note we’re moving from those happy adjectives to some not so happy descriptions) Beetle was awaiting an exam. The technician called requesting permission to tear into the engine; upon first examination things didn’t look good!
Enter the Saboteur: This is a major problem. It’s going to cost an arm and a leg. Get rid of this car; it’s going to be no good from here on out!
The technician called with a report. Bad news; the engine was fried! It has to be replaced. The estimated cost: $6900.00!
I told you so (that’s the saboteur speaking again).
Oh, my gosh! I’m in the middle of building a new business, a new career and an income stream. I used to make 6 figures; I’ve not yet reached 5 figures yet with my new career. I can’t spend $6900! I don’t want to spend $6900.00! That’s it, I’ll ride my bike. I don’t need a car. I’ll just leave it parked at the dealership. I don’t need it anyway!
I guess I’d better break the news to my husband! His thoughts are similar to mine. He immediately goes into “auto drive” and begins an internet search for an engine. He finds a place that works on Volkswagens, talks to the owner for a couple hours and discovers this guy knows a lot about Volkswagens. He can replace my engine for about $3500.00. It might take a month or so; there’s 30 cars ahead of mine waiting for repairs.
Nope, I don’t want to do this. Something’s not right.
TUESDAY
Enter my Future Self: My future self is a wise woman. She taps into her instincts; she listens and hears what her instincts are trying to tell her.
My instincts were saying, “Slow down, leave the car where it is, take your time, explore your options and figure out what you want to do”.
My internal coach was gaining strength! This is exactly what I would guide a client to do in this predicament; explore your options. Move out of being a victim into a position of choice! I was on my way to moving from the passenger seat where everyone, including my saboteur, was telling me what to do, to the driver seat where I was listening to my gut, reclaiming my power and positioned to make decisions based on my choice.
WEDNESDAY
I woke up. I felt refreshed, energetic and light. I knew what I was going to do. I had an action plan. The service people at the dealership were telling me the car was driven too far in an overheated condition; that’s why the engine was burned to a crisp and needed to be replaced. In essence, they were saying “it’s your fault. There’s nothing faulty about this car”. I couldn’t quite get my arms around this. I maintain my car. There were no indicators that beautiful sunny Sunday morning that anything was wrong. How do you go from everything seeming to be perfect to its trashed in the matter of a couple hours? It makes no sense to me. Sure, it was driven in an overheated situation; at least long enough to move from the left lane of the freeway to a safer place off to the side of the road but what caused it all to happen in the first place? And, who could make the decision to authorize the car to be repaired by Volkswagen or at least for Volkswagen to put some skin in the game. I had to find out; who was that person. I called a friend who’s got a long career in Auto Service Management with another company. I told him about my situation and asked his suggestion for whom to talk to. Upon his advice I contacted the Service Manager at Volkswagen and requested a meeting with the Regional Operations Manager from Corporate. They scheduled a meeting for May 11; nearly a month from the time this situation first occurred.
The Voice of the Saboteur returns: now he’s (the saboteur) telling me this is a good thing. You’ll see you can live without a car; you don’t need it, it just costs money and there will be constant problems with it even after it’s fixed. Just sit tight and wait for May 11.
THURSDAY
My future self was trying to rebut my saboteur. She was saying, “I think there’s more you can do while you wait for May 11. Research the problem on the internet, check out the blogs, and figure out who you can talk to!”
(Note to readers: if you’re not familiar with these terms; saboteur and future self, it may sound like I’m schizophrenic with multiple personalities. The truth is, I have one personality with multiple facets. The saboteur and future self are references to the thoughts in my head that guide me to act one way or another; they often oppose one another and all of us have these)
Something bigger, more serious comes into play:
I was attending a meeting. I borrowed my husband’s car to get there. My phone rings. It’s my son. He’s had an injury accident at work. He fell off a ladder and hurt his wrist. He’s going to the hospital. I finish my meeting. Although a broken wrist is not good, it’s not a big deal right? If that’s what it was, it would be true; it wouldn’t be a big deal. Several hours and a major surgery later we learn our son had suffered the most serious injury one can sustain to a hand and wrist. Every ligament in his wrist had detached from the bones. All the bones had dislocated. He will be in a cast for several months, unable to use his hand and arm for 6 months and hopefully will eventually regain feeling and movement in his fingers.
MONDAY
It’s a new week. Let’s get back to action. My husband and I talked at length about the car. Through the conversation I realized what was holding me back from getting it fixed. I thought about all my years as a services delivery manager in the computer world. We listened to our customers. We listened for what made them happy, what made them not happy, and what would improve their experience. We wanted dedicated, loyal customers. Doesn’t Volkswagen want the same thing? Sure they do. Don’t they want me to come out of this situation describing my car as fun, dependable, joyful etc. etc.? They don’t want me to continue thinking of it as the “blankety blank” car.
Also, I just couldn’t figure out, why does my car “ding” when I’m getting low on gas but when there’s about to be a catastrophic situation like the engine’s going to burn up, there’s no alarm????? Isn’t that an opportunity for their design engineers? To build a feature and function that’s customer friendly and mechanically sound?
Enter perspective: the car was no longer a big deal. The lime green joyful, fun, blankety, blank thing would just have to sit in the parking lot until May 11. I didn’t want to think about it or do anything other than take care of my son and take a deep breath.
Oh, and did I mention, there were various other little things like a leaky pipe under the kitchen sink, broken microwave and more, going on this same week. Let’s just take a break and get centered again!!! We’ll wave to the lime green beetle if we happen to drive by the dealership!
TUESDAY
I called the service manager. We had a great chat about all the above. He told me I’m not considered a “loyal” customer. I don’t have my car serviced at Volkswagen. He’s right, I say. From that perspective it’s true but what about the future. Someday, I’ll need a new car. If I have a good experience with this one and this situation, I will be apt to purchase another Volkswagen. If I have a not good experience I’m pretty sure I won’t buy another Volkswagen and I’m pretty sure I’ll be talking about my “not good” experience to friends and family for years to come. So I say, “I guess the Regional Operations Manager will have to decide which way he wants it when I meet him on the 11th”.
WEDNESDAY
Compassionate Communication/NonViolent Communication
As I mentioned in the beginning of this story I’ve been studying the process of Non Violent Communication or NVC as it’s called, for several months. (Note: NVC is a form of language. The name, “Non violent communication” is misleading. People often think it’s for people with anger issues. It’s not. It’s for all of us who want to learn to communicate effectively and compassionately. Through NVC I’m learning to say what I need to say and get the results I want through speaking compassionately. It’s like learning a new language.)
A key learning of NVC is moving from blaming others/blaming self into a place of compassion for others/compassion for self. So, what does this have to do with my car? A couple things; I had moved from blaming myself to having compassion for myself when I realized I was the customer and wanted to have a “satisfied/ good experience”. And now I was ready to move into compassion for the dealership; specifically, the service manager. I wanted to know, what would be the impact on his business, his numbers, his performance, if he authorized his team to fix my car? I called him back and asked this question. He told me he couldn’t authorize the repair because he wouldn’t get reimbursed for the parts (engine) to repair my car. He explained. The car had overheated and appeared to be driven too long once it began overheating. This ultimately caused the engine to be destroyed beyond repair. He said he’s required to send damaged parts back to the corporate office anytime a part is replaced. If he didn’t have authorization from the Regional Operations Manager to replace the engine, corporate would see the condition of the engine and based on the condition of the engine, determine the owner (me) was at fault and should pay for the repair. They wouldn’t pay the service manager for the parts or the work.
I understood his position. The May 11 meeting was still nearly 2 weeks away. I waved at my lime green Volkswagen when I drove by the dealership later that day.
Something else was nagging at me though. My future self, the wise woman, was saying, “Call the sales person who sold you the car. See what he suggests. Maybe he can give you some advice”. I called him. He remembered me and he remembered the car. He told me, “That car was a certified pre-owned car. I’m pretty sure it’s still under warranty.” Sure enough, he checked, and it was under warranty. He told me to call the service manager back and tell him this. It was late in the day. I’d have to wait till the next morning!
THURSDAY
I called the Service Manager. By this time I sort of felt like we were friends. We addressed one another by first names and easily conversed. I told him about the warranty and the conversation with the Sales person. He told me he was aware the car was under warranty but didn’t believe it would be covered under warranty because it appeared to be “driver error” (i.e. driving too long in an overheated condition)) and he was worried he wouldn’t get reimbursed for the parts or labor if he did the repair without authorization. Once again, I acknowledged it was driven while overheating. I went on to say, “but none of us know why it overheated in the first place; what if there is/was something faulty in the car? We could spin our wheels trying to blame the car, the driver, someone for something that happened for which we’ll probably never know why had happened. “Furthermore, I said, “I’m so happy my son and his friends are alive and well. Had they stopped the car in the left lane of the freeway as the car overheated, they might’ve been the victims of a fatal accident; one they wouldn’t live to tell? If that had happened, surely the story would be told in the news; it would be all about the blankety blank Volkswagen that died on the freeway due to overheating for a reason we don’t know and resulted in the death of 3 people. Thank goodness that’s not our story.” “Hopefully” I continued, “the Regional Operations Manager will be happy for this outcome and decide it makes sense to repair the car.
We said our goodbye’s as we agreed May 11 couldn’t get here soon enough.
A little while later I called the Service Manager again. I don’t even remember why. Before I said much he told me he’d just talked with the Regional Operations Manager. He’d asked the guy if he couldn’t make a special trip to the dealership to take a look at this car and decide whether or not to give authorization to have it repaired. The Manager was due to arrive in the next 10 to 20 minutes. The service manager said he’d be calling me with an answer within the hour. He explained the Regional operations Manager usually rules in favor of the customer.
20 minutes, 30 minutes and nearly an hour passes…the phone rings. It’s the Service Manager. He has an authorization from the Regional Operations Manager!!! I’m not sure what all he said! I was too excited and thrilled to hear it all. I know I committed to having the car serviced from here on out at a Volkswagen service center and began talking about my Fun lime green Volkswagen Beetle with the Black Convertible top that brings me great joy and a light hearted feeling when I drive it. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I do need my car…I just can’t imagine riding my bike, business clothes and all, to meet with a client or conduct a workshop. I love my car! I love living in a coaches perspective!
Next time you find yourself in a precarious situation will you choose to live it in a coaches perspective? Will you hear the voice of your saboteur? The voice of your future self? Will you be in your driver seat complete with power to make the best decision for you or will you be a victim?
